I, for one, do not consider myself a hero, after what I've seen and done...the real heroes are the parents that brought us up to be upstanding citizens...well, the majority anyway...
Just watched "The Dark Knight"; if you haven't yet, then you very well should...I am considering getting it on DVD when it does come out...a really excellent movie, a real treat, and the critics were right: Heath Ledger was a force to be reckoned with, definitely worthy of a posthumous Oscar...it was just, breathtaking in his portrayal of The Joker...how he should have always been, in the comics, in the older Batmans with George Clooney...all those...it was just, amazing...........
I'm sharing a junior security supervisor position with Max at Narangba Valley Tavern...not too bad for someone who's only been in the game come three months at the end of Aug...we also get paid hazard pay when we're there...been described ad Bri Bie Island 2...but so far, things are going well...I have a feeling though, that this place could very well be my undoing...I will admit, I'm a bit scared, but it's part of the job isn't it? We have to do things that we don't like to do...
"Thing will have to get worst before they get better..."
I'm in a downward spiral at the moment again...I am still sick though...nausea, headache, insommnia...it is definately taking it's toll on me...personally, I don't feel the need to do anything irrational, but then again, if my life is going to be like it is, and it's going to be like this for the next 40 years, then what's there's to look forward to? I feel like I'm in a never ending cycle of shite...the moment something good happens, like any well formualted plan, it folds in on itself and you have to improvise...I guess I'm pretty good at improv, and rolling with the blows, but let me assure you, it does take its toll on a person...I've known all my big dissapointments since they were little hopes and dreams...
Why does anyone bother anyway? It's because we're human, and we're fallable...the difference is, can we stand up to the challenge?
Be safe.
N
Who Is The Black Chinaman?
- Nick
- Kuala Belait, Brunei
- Saving someone's life is like falling in love. The best drug in the world. For days, sometimes weeks afterwards, you walk the streets, making infinite whatever you see. Once, for a few weeks, I couldn't feel the earth - everything I touched became lighter. Horns played in my shoes. Flowers fell from my pockets. You wonder if you've become immortal, as if you've saved your own life as well. God has passed through you. Why deny it, that for a moment there - why deny that for a moment there, God was you? I realised that my training was useful in less than ten percent of the calls, and saving lives was rarer than that. After a while, I grew to understand that my role was less about saving lives than about bearing witness. I was a grief mop. It was enough that I simply turned up. Living and working back in Brunei, after a 14 year absence... Also known as: Brunei, NASA, Bruise-Eye, Bru, Cheesecake, Nick, BruNick, BruMedNick, Two Step etc etc etc
1 comment:
Couldn't have said it better myself Bru. "whay does anyone bother?" cos we're human yeah, but also like I said before cos there's others around that would simply want us to just keepon trying.........and that's what matters, often a whole lot more.
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